Kenny McCormick ManWhore Extraordinaire
by CartmanFan
Summary: Kenny is bored in class. So why not go through his fuckbuddies, while he's at it? It's a great opportunity for him to reflect on whether or not his current status as man-whore is something to be proud of.


**I'm baaaack! After a long, horrible time of writers block, I'm back in the game =D So to the fans of 'Grounded', don't worry, I will update very soon! Anyways, this is just a funny little idea that popped into my mind, so I thought, 'hey, why not?'**

**Title: Kenny McCormick - Man-Whore Extraordinaire **

**Plot: Kenny is thinking about all his fuckbuddies, and his current state of being the man-whore in town.**

**Rating: M**

**I apologise for any grammatical errors that I may have overlooked. Sorry.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. All rights go to Matt and Trey.**

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**Kenny McCormick- Man-Whore Extraordinaire**

Kenny McCormick hated school. Like, really, truly _hated _it. He despised it. He was absolutely disgusted by it. It was so fucking boring. He had given up on trying to pay attention a long time ago. And now he just sat by his desk, bored out of his mind, and looked at the clock over the door. _Tick-tock, tick-tock._ The time went by way to slow. He yawned and looked at his fellow classmembers, all of them looking just as bored as he felt. He had fucked almost all of them, boys as well as girls. He was quite a man-whore. Sometimes he wondered whether or not that was a thing to be proud of.

He looked at Stan and Kyle that was snickering and whispering about something. They where both very handsome, but in different ways. Stan was tall and muscular, always lightly tanned, with deep, sea-blue eyes and jetblack hair. He had a strong, slightly square jaw and a well-defined chin. Kyle was small and slender, his skin was milky white, his eyes had a bright shade of emerald green, and his before so uncontrollable, frizzy jew-fro had loosened up into soft, slick, blood-red curls. He, on the other hand, had a small, heart-shaped face with a narrow, pointy chin.

Not only where Stan and Kyle as different as could be in looks, but in bed as well; Stan was very old-fashioned and wasn't really into the kinky stuff. Not the sort of kink that Kenny liked, anyway. It could be a little sad sometimes, because Kenny would have died to see Stan in a maid outfit. Or dressed up as a nurse, ready to take Kenny's temperature and check his reflexes. Goddamn, that was a _hot _thought! Maybe he should try to convince Stan to do it. After all, as old-fashioned as Stan was, it was hard for him to resist when Kenny was being persuasive.

Kyle, on the other hand, was so fucking kinky that it was almost scary. He was always up for trying new stuff out, and he ate sex in public for breakfast. He was a masochist as well, and Kenny didn't say no to perform some serious spanking on him. After all, Kyle _did _have the greatest ass in town. Kenny would never have thought in a million years, that the little, petite, beautiful, jewish brainiac would be the most daring, wild, crazy fireball in the sack. It was a pleasant surprise though, and Kyle was one of his favorite lovers.

Kenny let his gaze wander to the seat next to Stan and Kyle, where Eric Cartman was sitting with headphones in his ears. He had been another pleasant surprise. Not only had he lost all his overweight, so he now actually _was_ just big-boned and muscular, but he was actually really attractive with his dark brown eyes, medium-brown hair and sand-coloured skin. _And _he was awesome in bed. Cartman was dominating and always took control, so Kenny could just relax and enjoy. That was actually nice for a change. It was always really intense to sleep with Cartman. Kenny didn't exactly know why though. Maybe it was the fact that Cartman knew which buttons to push to get Kenny through the roof. And his undeniable charisma, of course. Seriously, Kenny had never met anyone, who, despite of being bigoted and racist, was so fucking charming. A little freaky, but hey, Kenny got some great experiences out of it, so he wasn't the one to complain.

Then there was Butters. Butters was a… Interesting partner, to say the least. Who would have guessed that the little, slim blonde with the big, turquoise eyes and innocent, cheerful personality would have such a… Complex sexuality? Butters was a lot of things. He was both dominating and submissive and everything in between, and he was always aiming to please. He was a crossdresser as well, frequently dressing up as his alter ego Marjorine. Kenny absentmindedly licked his lips at the thought of Butters in a skimpy outfit and high heels, battering his mascara-coated eyelashes and letting out a girlish giggle. The fact that Butters was just as hot as a girl as he was as a boy, was beyond Kenny. He didn't care though. Butters was a great companion in the sack, and Kenny loved that no matter how dirty they got together, Butters always kept his innocence.

Kenny's eyes wandered past Butters to look at Bebe and Wendy, the class' female equivalent to Stan and Kyle. He definately knew who he liked the best out of those two. Wendy was pretty good to screw, but she was nothing compared to Bebe. Wendy always seemed to want to control herself, she just couldn't let herself go, whereas Bebe, on the other hand, was way more carefree and gladly lost control of herself. Kenny felt like he could relate more to Bebe than to Wendy. Plus, Bebe had bigger boobs.

Kenny's gaze went from Bebe's boobs to the face of Craig Tucker. Kenny couldn't help but chuckle when he thought about their first fuck. It had been one of the most hilarious things he had ever tried, and that said a lot. They had been in Craig's room, on his bed, and really getting it on. They got naked pretty quick, and Kenny had grabbed a bottle of lube and started to prepare Graig, scissoring him gently. Craig was just lying there. His face where all sweaty and flushed, but he didn't make a sound, and Kenny couldn't read his facial expression. When he was done stretching Craig, they finally got nasty. Kenny was fucking him the best he could, but Craig didn't do anything, he was just lying down flat on his back and taking it. Then, Kenny must have hit his prostate, because Craig opened his mouth, and with his usual bored, monotone voice he said with a stone cold pokerface: "Oh God. Yes. This is so good. Fuck me, McCormick." Kenny couldn't help but burst into laughter, and when he first started, he couldn't stop, so he had to pull out and finish himself off in Craigs bathroom. Despite this, it was not the only time he had bedded Craig Tucker. Craig was actually quite nice, and definately fun to shag.

Kenny's eyes now rested upon the nervous, twitchy little blonde coffee-addict that was seated next to Craig. Ah yes, cute little tweek. He liked Tweek. Despite his spastic twitches, small frequent outbursts and extreme paranoia, he really liked him. Tweek was beautiful to look at. He was good for Kenny's eyes. He liked his small frame, goldenblonde hair and forest green eyes. Despite what some people would probably think, Tweek was actually a real party in the sack. As long as he could have a couple gallons of coffe before getting down to business, he was completely relaxed and not nervous at all. It was quite funny, however, that Tweeks moans was identical to the "Gah!" sounds he made when he was spazzing out.

Kenny's look moved from Tweek to Token. Token had also grown into a handsome young man. He played a lot of sports, so he had a great, atlethic, muscular body. Not as muscular as Stans, but whatever. Token, like Stan, was also kind of old-fashioned, but he made up for it by being so wonderfully laid back. When Kenny and Token was finished fucking like rabbits, they would usually just lie in bed and talk, smoke some weed and eventually end up with being so baked that they would just howl with laughter, for no particular reason.

Of course Kenny had done Clyde as well. It had been a really disturbing experience, that somewhat scarred Kenny for life. You see, when Clyde had reached his climax, he was crying out loud, moaning and bucking like a wanton whore. That would have been fine, no problem at all, but the case was that Clyde in his crazy, clouded ecstacy had screamed and moaned: "Oh, yes, mr. Garrion, oh God! Uhn, I've been a really bad boy, mr. Hat!" Kenny had felt slightly nauseous, but didn't stop until he was finished. He wanted his part of the cake! And, he would still occassionally sleep with Clyde. Clyde was horny, and had a pulse, so what the fuck? Kenny needed his daily fix anyway. Besides, Clyde had some good bed-skills, so Kenny could deal with being referred to as "Mr. Hat".

Kenny looked at the classroom full of bedpartners. His own little collection, from which he could just pick the one who suited his mood best. So what if that made him a slut? He loved sex, and he was goddamn proud of it too. He did things his own way. Kenny couldn't help but smile. Yes, he was a man-whore – and he fucking loved it.

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**A/N: So what did you think? Was it crappy or not? Please read and review, and thank you so very much for reading =D**


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